Selfish
by SSidle
Summary: Selfishly I’m in love with you, Cause I searched my soul, I know that it’s you.


A/N: This is just something that came to mind when I was listening to this song. This was written at 2am and is unbeta'd, so please forgive any small mistakes, but let me know if you come across anything major I need to fix. Thank you!

Disclaimer: I don't own Bones or "Selfish" by N'Sync.

_I just don't understand why you're running from a good man baby_

_Why you wanna turn your back on love_

_Why you've already given up_

I just don't understand why she refuses to believe in love. Just because something can't be scientifically proven doesn't meant that it doesn't exist. But that's not how she sees the world, for her, everything must fit into her perfectly logical equation. That's exactly why she needs me. She's the brains, I'm the gut. The perfect balance. When we're working, she has no problem believing in what I think. But for some reason that escapes me, she refuses to go with me on only two things, love and religion. I can deal with the not believing in God, but I'll never give up on love.

_See I know you've been hurt before_

_But I swear I'll give you so much more_

_I swear I'll never let you down_

I know her story. Anyone could understand her fear of abandonment, but I'm never going to stop trying to make her believe that I'm not going to leave her. So long as I live I will remain by her side, whether she likes it or not.

_Cause I swear it's you that I adore_

_And I give you myself babe_

_Cause I think about you constantly_

_And my heart gets no rest over you_

I'm not sure when I fell in love with her. I think it may have started that first time I saved her, when I'd unwittingly handed her over to a murderer. I shall never forgive myself, even though she has never blamed me. It was Dr. Wyatt that finally forced me to come to terms with my feelings for my partner. At first I was less than pleased, how could I have let myself fall in love with a woman who doesn't even believe in the concept? But I soon warmed to the idea of convincing her that we could figure it out and make it work. But then there was Sully…

_You can call me selfish_

_But all I want is your love_

When Sully questioned me about my feelings for my partner, I was dumbstruck. Was I that easy to read? For once I was thankful for her lack of people skills. Because if she had any inkling as to the magnitude of the way I felt about her, she would be gone and out of my life before I could know what hit me. Throughout her and Sully's relationship, I knew that he had major problems with the amount of time we spent together. I knew that I should have been considerate to my friend and encouraged her to spend more time with him, but I was selfish. I wanted her to myself, I didn't want there to be anyone else. I have and always will want to be the only man in her life, if that makes me selfish, I don't care. I love her.

_And you can call me hopeless_

_Baby cause I'm hopelessly in love_

When Gordon Gordon told us that I wasn't the actual reason she stayed, I was actually pretty devastated. I thought for sure that it was finally a sign that she might feel the same way I did. But apparently not. She stayed because she can't live a purposeless life. I desperately wanted her to have stayed for me. I know it's wrong, but what can I say, I'm hopelessly in love.

_And you can call me unperfect, but who's perfect_

_Tell me what do I gotta do to prove that I'm the only one for you_

She and I may fight incessantly, and have completely opposite outlooks on life but somehow it works for us. We're yin and yang. It worked for Scully and Mulder, it could work for us.

_I'll be taking up your time_

_Till the day I make you realize_

_That for you there could be no one else_

_I just gotta have you for myself_

I know it's going to take a lot of work to get her to see what I do, that we are meant to be. It's going to take time so for now I'll just have to be content to remain by her side. I can look but I can't touch, yet. I just have to show her that no one is going to be there for her the way that I am.

_Baby I would take good care of you_

_No matter what it is your going through_

_I'll be there for you when you're in need_

I took it to heart when Max told me to take care of her. I have come to dedicate myself to not only ensuring her safety, but also her health. The woman can recall facts that no one, with the exception of Zach and maybe Hodgins, would know, but it completely escapes her to remember to eat regular meals, stay hydrated and sleep. The woman truly amazes me. I have taken it upon myself to be the one that is there to keep her in touch with reality and not close herself off in her own little world. I truly have no idea how she managed to survive before she had someone dedicated to her well being.

_Baby believe in me_

_Cause if love if a crime_

_Then punish me, I would die for you_

_Cause I don't want to live without you_

_What can I do?_

I imagine telling her how I feel about her. I've played it out in my head a million times. In my head, I sweep her off her feet and we live happily ever after. However I am more in touch with reality than that. I know that I even mention the idea of me being in love with her, I know she would lecture me as to the hormones that cause these feelings and why it isn't real, or she would hightail it out of there and cut herself off from me indefinitely. I still wonder how I could have let myself fall for someone against all logic. But I guess the whole logic thing is really more of her are, not mine.

_Why do you keep us apart?_

_Why won't you give up your heart?_

_You know that were meant to be together_

_Why do you push me away?_

_All I want is to give you love_

_Forever and ever and ever and ever_

I know that I drew a line not so long ago. I made it clear that there could be nothing between us. But I was lying, lying to her and to myself. I hoped that putting up another barrier between her and I would help me lock away these feelings, but it has only served to make me more determined for us to be together.

_Selfishly I'm in love with you_

_Cause I searched my soul_

_I know that it's you_

_I'll prove that I'm the only one for you_

_So what's wrong with being selfish?_

We're partners and friends, and for now it seems as if it'll stay that way. I may want more, but I know that she's not ready for that. So until she is, I'll just have to be content with what we have. Maybe one day I'll get my chance. Our moment will come, and I just pray that we're both ready when it happens.

A/N: Thanks for reading, let me know what you think! Please? Pretty please with whipped cream on top of _character of choice_? Hugs and love --SSidle--


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